Fathers Day is one that usually comes and goes for me with out even rating a blip on my radar. As many of my friends know, my own father died when I was 5, and two months shy of my 6th birthday. It left a void to be sure, because in the few years I had with him, he was an awesome dad. I don’t remember him ever yelling or getting fired up about anything. I only remember him being funny, handsome, and the best baseball player I had ever seen. It took Mike Schmidt a long time to surpass Abe Homsher on the diamond, in my opinion.
In retrospect, I learned along the the way without a dad, you’re lucky if you find a father figure to help you keep your shit together, but it’s not something you can create, it has to just happen. So even though in Boy Scouts they would assign me a “father” for mandatory father-son events, that unsurprisingly didn’t create one.
I had an uncle that I loved dearly and who was the family patriarch, but I never saw him as a father figure either, he was just an awesome uncle. He would take us to baseball games give advice when asked and was truly hilarious when he would bait my mother the way only a younger brother can do to a big sister. I still miss him and expect to see him pop up at family functions 20+ years later.
Funny thing about life though, is that until I looked at the replay, as it were, I didn’t realize how the time I needed a father the most, is when one appeared in about the most round about way possible. My sister had secured a babysitting job over the summer for a wonderful young couple with two young children. I got to know them too and would fill in watching the kids if my sister was busy, and though I never would’ve guessed it, this guy became what I needed, exactly when I needed it.
Steven Patrizio was cool. He had everything, a beautiful wife and daughters, great house, fast car, and an excess of cash and self confidence. Or pretty much everything a drifting 14 year old had none of. Steve was brilliant young defense attorney that was already known in Philadelphia for taking no-win cases, and actually winning them. All this and he still wasn’t 30. He was also the product of an affectionate Italian family, and no offense to my dear Irish mother, but she was not outwardly affectionate. You’d show up at Steve’s place and you were getting hugs from the whole house, and it was great!
Why he took to me, I’m not sure. Maybe because he had an older brother who showed him the ropes, maybe because he knew I lacked guidance, whatever, he quickly became someone I could ask about any subject and get advice that helped a kid become an adult and lasted a lifetime too. Steve also could sense when he needed to talk to me and find out what was going through my semi empty/tormented teenage head. He never talked down to me, but wasn’t shy about standing me up and calling me on my bullshit. When I wanted to sulk and lament what I didn’t have, he told me in great detail what I did have. When I would’ve been too proud to attend community college because all my friends were going to “real colleges” and would’ve gone down a bad road, he was the person to check my ego and get me to enroll at Community College, a decision hat changed my life for the better.
So here comes Fathers Day 2015, and once again it was about to sail past with out too much thought, until it was brought to my attention that I have become to someone else, what Steve was to me. I was vaguely aware that two of the young brothers who work for my wife seem to emulate me and spend a lot of time hanging out with our family, but even though my wife has told me how much they love being around me, I kind of dismissed it as them being polite… Till this morning, when they were waiting for me early befor I left for work with some little presents they bought for me for Father’s Day. To say I was surprised would be an understatement. The gifts, while simple, might as well have been made of solid gold, because the fact that they took time out to think about me was really touching.
I suppose that means through luck or design, I have managed to become a “second father” to these two brothers and the circle continues, as I give them advice, or just spend some time with them. I left a message for Steve today as I always do on Fathers Day to thank him and check in, and to let him know it’s now my chance to happily do for someone else what he did for me all those years ago. So whether it’s your father, step father, or father figure, show them some love today and don’t forget to say thanks for all their contributions no matter how large or how small to making to the person you are today.
Live Kind
Sean
99* Ways To Be Kind 