Time Traveling, Kind Traveling

Yesterday and today I went time traveling and it was everything I thought it could be. Time travel it turns out is surprisingly easy. You don’t need Superman flying faster than the speed of light, all you need to start is some bad Phillies Baseball and the rest happens by itself.

The Phillies baseball isn’t mandatory for time travel, but last night it was the catalyst to help propel me. When I sit in Citizens Bank Ballpark before a game and they’re prepping the field, the scent of the fresh cut grass alone takes me back to my childhood summers in Maine, which is my personal happy place, but I digress. This post is about time traveling and kind traveling, we got some science and love to discuss here, Northeast Harbor can wait for another day.

Seeing the once mighty Phillies get beaten like red headed step children by the Dodgers rocketed me right to 1977 when they always beat the Phillies. It didn’t matter who was in the lineup, you knew the Phills were going to find a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, and last night they took a good performance from a dominating left handed pitcher and did zippo with it. Like I said, “hello 1977”, but time travel isn’t perfected yet so there are times when you can hit the right year, but not the right place. These bugs can be worked out.

Anyway, you’re probably asking where the Kindness comes in, and here it is. Right after the game I met up with one of my oldest and closest friends whom I hadn’t seen in 10 years, and BAM! I was transported thirty-two years into the past where the laughs and the bonds were as strong as they’d ever been.

We talked about the odds we’d be productive members of society (50-50 at best), insanely bad decisions (alcohol, cars, trains, and a lots of law enforcement), incredibly lucky breaks (coincidentally, more alcohol, cars, trains and slow footed law enforcement), and how cool and easy time travel is. The best part of time traveling back though, was to realize those 11687 days only made the bond stronger. You know you made it. Those chapters that were full of questions and suspense, “will she say yes, what about his promotion, will we ever finish school?…
Hey Sweeps we made it this far. The story is far from over, but we made it past a lot of the scary stuff, and when you kick back with the beverage of your choice, an old friend and some time travel, you realize John Lennon was right, All You Need Is Love”. You’d think time travel would be exhausting, but It’s such a treat for the soul, that it fills you with good feelings every time you think about it. Your body is cranking out Imunoglobbin A, building anti-bodies, probably even kicking out a few endorphins, because it’s one of the kindest acts you can do for yourself, thus “helpers high” is coming your way with a bag of Dorito’s. Woo Hoo!!

So Time travel back in time was great, how about the future? I did that too, BOOM! You can do it too. I was lucky enough to go to a wedding of wonderful girl who’s like family to my wife and I. She’s been there for us, and we for her. We’ve known her through ups and downs, and witnessed her in dark moments you want to rescue her from, but you couldn’t. You could only sit there in the moment knowing that someday, love would rule the day, but not then, not there. That story was scare-ree, but today seeing her wed her soul mate was seeing the future, and the fact that the future worked out after all, is another treat for the soul. And let me tell you, you get a day of happy hugs, that’s kindness on a galactic scale, as befits a time traveler.

Like John Lennon sung, “Nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be.” So Time travel baby!

Pick up that phone and call a friend, or a relative you haven’t talked to in a while. Hit someone on Facebook and make plans to re-acquaint. Treat your soul to some love and go time traveling.

Riley Cooper, meet Søren Kierkegaard.

First of all, I’m back to blogging again. Final preparation for my book, “99 Ways To Be Kind”, which inspired this blog, has been pretty consuming and I appreciate those of you who asked when this was going to start again. Its available now on amazon.com as an e-book or paperback, and virtually all other platforms as well.

A few items crossed my attention as a subject to start back and write about, but the recent viral video of Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Riley Cooper’s liberal use of the word “nigger”, while attending a Kenny Chesney, concert seemed a good place to start.

And yes, I did not write “N word”, because “N word” is very sterile and polite and not at all what the word means. Nigger is meant to hurt, to subjugate, to separate, to highlight differences, and let someone know their place. “N word”? That’s too nice, but it does bring us to the paradox of race relations in this country. This video took off recently and prompted a hastily prepared tearful apology from Riley, undisclosed fines from the team, mandatory sensitivity training, and as of last night, Riley leaving the team to attend counseling. As I perused the blogosphere and Facebook a whole lot of responses were surprising to me, including my favorite, “he didn’t mean it, he was just drunk”. Now I’m of the opinion that when you’re drunk, you are absolutely telling the truth, because there is no better truth serum, or personality amplifier in the world, than a few too many drinks. So I think Riley really did mean to say it and really did want to fight every nigger he saw.

Hold it I just remembered that United States Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scolia said, Racism is Over!!!

Yeah, Take that Racism! You have less life than the Philadelphia Eagles Super Bowl hopes! We won! We beat Racism! We beat Racism! We beat Racism! Any treatment you now suffer is not due to the color of your skin, but the fact that we hate you for a nebulous, hard to define reason that just sort of feels good when we discuss it in the privacy of our fellowship groups, which are open to all people, except your kind. But I digress.

Riley’s little rant is surprisingly ignorant for a guy who’s been educated by and graduated from The University of Florida. You would think there must have been a philosophy course tucked in there somewhere between the Quantum Physics courses, or Curing Cancer 101, but apparently not. Either way he appears to have skated through school with the accolades, but not the substance of an educated man.
Now I’ve never met Riley Cooper, but I’m willing go out on a limb and say that Riley thinks he has black friends, enjoys the company of certain black people, and probably doesn’t want to physically hurt most black people, but Riley has done something all of us do at one point or another, and that leads us to his introduction to a philosopher who should become his new best friend.

Riley meet Søren, Søren meet Riley. OK the formalities are done, so let’s have at it, shall we?

Søren Kierkegaard wrote a lot of deep philosophical works and is generally thought of the first existentialist philosopher, but this quote is going to help Riley and others understand why this needs to be taken seriously. “Once you label me, you negate me.” A label removes a persons humanity and paints them all with the same brush. They’re not an individual with a story, because once you refer to a group of people as niggers Riley, they have no room to go up. They’re null. Your teammate is a talented nigger, the cop is a hard working nigger, the doctor is a nigger who went to med school, and all those people in the crowd, out in the public arena, who’s stories you’ll never know are just a bunch of niggers. That’s not who they are. Is that who you really are, and is that how you wish to continue thinking about people?

Like The Ancient Mariner who shot and killed the albatross, you knowingly labeled black people with the most vile insult you could think of and now like The Mariner, you wear it around your neck as punishment for your sin, and let’s not be mistaken here, you deserve to. However, people love tales of redemption. It’s true some folks are always going to see you as that red neck jock who hates niggers, but its up to you to challenge yourself and show true toughness by admitting your ignorance and seeking knowledge and understanding that people of color would love for you to have. This is one of those rare moments where a jock can really become a role model. If you take the time to educate yourself and develop empathy for other people, other cultures, other humans like yourself, your new pal Søren, is pretty confident about you turning things around and having the albatross fall from your neck.

The lesson has been thrown out there now for all of us to learn. While we may laugh or cringe at this most public meltdown by a professional athlete, most of us would be wise to do a little self examination and think about who we’ve labeled, who we’ve negated, and who we’ve hurt. To live a kind life, its necessary  we engage in critical review of our behavior and not just the people we see on TV or Youtube. Let’s try to be aware of these labels and tear them away so we can see the whole person in front of us and not N words, F words, S words, K words…

“Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are.” Søren Kierkegaard, to all of us.